Who Controls Our Illusions?
Café-Salon Philosophique #9
March 7, 1998
Evening's Topic: "To What Extent is the Sense We Have of Control an Illusion?"
Samuel began the evening's discussion by bringing to the group a couple of new ideas for Café-Salon. He first suggested the concept of "Café-Salon Philosophical Dinners." Four to eight people of Café-Salon Philosophique would gather for dinner once or twice a month and engage in a specific topic of conversation.
He suggested subscribing to the Café-Philo Reports to support the existence of Café-Philosophique gatherings. Subscriptions would be $25/month for a 6 months for 12 issues.
We then began discussing the evening's topic with Samuel introducing the topic by presenting the metaphor, "Are you a puppet controlled by a puppeteer?" No one really answered this question. He next asked us to think about if we feel that we control our own lives or do we feel controlled by other persons, places and things in our lives?
Stan began the conversation by describing how he was controlled from the moment he was born, first by his mother and father and then by other family members. He also shared how different forms of culture, education, religion and government become the cruxes from which we learn to live in a controlled Society.
Instead of thinking in global terms of control, Samuel asked us to "bounce back" and speak from our own experiences. How do we live with control in our own lives? Carron stated that she believes that control of her life works from a form of "synergy" from within her. She gave the example of being at a conference and meeting people who were good contacts in her line of work and went on to describe how meeting these people lead her to various other sources for gathering necessary information that would assist her in her work.
She described this as being "in the current of movement." Not working to control a series of events, but just letting things occur naturally for each and every specific setting. She shared that she envisions what she wants, sets goals and then moves toward fulfilling those goals.
Carron further stated that up to a certain age, we learn to be controlled and learn to control other people, places and things. Only through the grace and joy of age, maturity and experience, do we learn to undo these controlling natures that we place upon ourselves, other people, situations and things.
Samuel gave an example of ways we try to control objects. He demonstrated the possible relationships with a chair when it is in the way of a passerby. An Eastern man acknowledges the presence of the chair occupying the space, accepts it as is, allows it to be where it is and walks around it. The Western man who needs "to show" or "to prove" that he is in control of his environment moves it from its place and throws it out of the way!
So the next question was, how do we take control of our own lives? In order for one to be in control, one must learn to use the power of choice to gain the necessary cause and effect that we so desire. One must become a "responsible navigator of life" in controlling one's own destiny. Actions must be self- directed towards harnessing control over the variables of life.
At times, we also must learn that certain things in life experiences are not controllable. These can either be short term or long term. The group defined "coincidences," the laws of nature, upbringing, cultural, metaphysical as uncontrollable. This is when we learn patience, humbleness and perseverance when dealing with these uncontrollable elements.
David and Tara shared how we are capable of living the lives that we choose from our own inner worlds through outward expression. Being co-creator participants in one's life. Another group member shared that we do have the power of choice for making conscious, responsible decisions by taking control of our actions. When we take control of our actions, we can choose to do as little or as much as we want in life.
One must first take an honest inventory of life and see what truly is enjoyable versus those things that are not. Then if a person believes in the power of choice, one could possibly remove perceived blocks and barriers and this could lead to supposed "controlling factors" disappearing. Jim provided a little humor by stating a big bulldozer would work well for blazing a path towards controlling present situations in his life!
Len quoted Einstein as saying, "one must see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts" in order to act upon their free will.
Thirdly, the group identified the need to, "Don't just think about it, DO IT!" Make conscious decisions. Learn to act not react. As Uncle Nathan said, "how you are with people is how they are with you, so be nice." One must learn to condense the space between thinking and doing. One must remember to apply daily that we are the most important person and yet the most insignificant, the law of balance and harmony is in operation at all time."
So in summary, did we answer the question for the evening's topic? The group did address issues surrounding control but did not elaborate as to whether the sense of control is an illusion nor did we define what an illusion was. The group did conclude that it is the individual's responsibility to make conscious choices towards controlling the various factors in our own lives.
One must learn to distinguish between the characteristics of control. Is the sense of control and the amount working in my life a hindrance or helpful? Is the form of control I live with painful or pleasurable? Comfortable or uncomfortable? Do I have a choice or feel I have no choices in the amount of control that I live with in my life? Am I open to surrending certain aspects of control in my life or am I fearful of losing something or somebody? What? Keep the quest always alive within you, be that constant question mark!
The next meeting for Café Philosophique will be March 21, 1998 at 7:00 p.m.
The evening's topic will be: "Why do some people give knowledge freely and others charge for it? Can knowlege be bought? Must knowledge be free?"
Please come prepared to share in this evening's topic of conversation. Hope to see you there and invite your friends!
See you then!
Reported by Alessandra
