Food, Sex, Love and Money

Café-Salon Philosophique #19

August 8, 1998

No. of Participants: 20

The Evening's Topic: "Envisioning the Future: Relating to the Four Great Powers - Food, Sex, Love and Money."

Samuel began the evening by sharing how he believes "the world is in transition and alot of global changes are occurring now as we speak. People are going to need a directed way to change their limited way of thinking or Bye! Bye! We will be seeing alot more insaneness or committing of suicide because of people "panicking" over the changes that are and will be occurring." "One will need to learn how to function calmly from their hearts and with the use of their brains in order to guide them through the millenium."

Samuel then introduced the topic, "Envisioning the Future: Relating to the Four Great Powers - Food, Sex, Love and Money." Being that this topic is very broad, we were asked to pick one of the four powers to discuss. The group chose to focus on love. What is love? Is it a feeling? Is it a state? Do love and wisdom go together?

We began with Eileen stating that, "we have got to think about what's happening to our children. Families have changed. Child care has changed. We have added responsibilities in our lives now. Our children need a better sense of direction. We need to pull back from the "busyness" of our lives and see where we're at." Suzie continued the thought by stating that, "she believes love and nurturance are very important for a child and wished that all children were given this."

Oscar thinks that we tend to "get swept up in "melodrama" when talking about love. He feels that we don't "know anything about love." "Trying to "talk" about what love is with words is ridiculous." "It is not something that you can pin down." Reinhard finds love to be a "connection." To Larry, love is a "discreet concept." Sarah senses that "love is a spiritual thing. We need to love in the present moment with where we are at and with whom we are with." Samuel brought up that people tend to "attach alot of garbage" to the word love and use emotions to convey this without having the real knowledge to explore the concept of love to its fullest.

Ciona wanted to elaborate a little further on children and the family. She said, that "family structures need to change." "Parents need to spend more time with their children in a purposeful way." "Children need some kind of guidance with the way the world is changing."

Brad reminded us that there are many "definitions of love and many different types of love." He sees it as an inner connection and interdependence to other people. Love should convey support, protection, and nurturance." He sees love as an "underlying current in everything." He also believes that "relationships happen between people and not with inanimate objects."

Marta really didn't want to respond to defining love because "there are so many different ways of looking at love." "There is self acceptance versus world acceptance." And then there are "so many different dynamics that go along with the context of love." David thinks we are "genetically programmed to give and receive in the name of love." "The personality and characteristics of a person are formed at a cellular level in our DNA."

Eileen brought up that "there are some people who just naturally have the gift of being loving with an open heart, smile all the time, and go about life being happy." She added that "love is a life force that is associated with power for making responsible and humane choices when interacting with people in the world no matter where you go."

Jim sees love as a "connection, a chemical euphoria, a spiritual thing."

Stephanie continued the thought of Ciona about "children needing more time and attention from their parents." She believes that it doesn't make any difference if the parents "stay at home and do not work." "That is not going to change how the children are influenced by what's happening in the world."

She feels that as an adoptive parent, child rearing tends to be "more complex" because of having to take into consideration "not being the biological parent of her kids." "There's alot more that you have to deal with."

Wayne believes that the concept of "love is an illusion," and whatever you put out is "reciprocal." "If you give love, you're going to get love. If you put out anger and frustration, that is what you are going to get back."

He continued with that "we all live in worlds of our own self interests, and we develop these worlds by what we are taught." Personally, he enjoys learning from and getting images from children.

Ed commented that "love is a chemical phenomenon." He thinks we are trying to grope for the "right definition" when there is none. Also he added that, "there are different kinds of love - chemical/sexual, feelings, and action." "Chemical/sexual is infatuation or "falling in love" with someone. Feelings are when you hold someone in high esteem and action is the way you conduct yourself with your behavior in a loving manner."

Alessandra commented on how we are only a "tiny speck on the globe" and we need to stop and consider who we are, what we are doing, and why. "We can only affect changes in the world when we work on improving and bettering our self so that we are relating to other people in a kind and humane way."

Another spoke of Agape love and thinks we all need to "try and understand each other better and develop a tolerance for others in their actions and behaviors."

Sarah thinks competition interferes with loving. She gave the example of the "idiot" drivers who "run stoplights" and "weaves in and out of traffic." Stan feels like "a mouse in a cage, always "spining his wheels" going nowhere."

He is trying to understand why anger is a driving force in his life. He knows that "TV and the media push violence and domestic violence." He doesn't feel as though he was taught "what love is." His "parents aren't around" to learn from them. The various religions "try to define love," but he feels that they "miss the point." He wondered if "love comes from within the self?" He can visualize "beautiful flowers in a garden, but that they get choked out by weeds."

Suzy responded by saying that "it is a choice whether or not you choose to live with anger or love." One need not live and function from the state of emotions. One needs to remove themselves from the present moment, self-destructive state or pattern of behavior and leap into a new way of thinking and being.

She gave the example of "being in a car with a friend, and that while maybe she is looking at the beautiful flowers and weeds growing along the road, her friend might be counting the number of road kill along the highway."

Oscar offered that we need to have "love, acceptance and compassion for where we are at the moment and for what we are doing." Eileen offered that we need to "accept our selve's and love our self."

Brad stated that one does need space "to know" this self love. But, "love is a survival mechanism and many people who do not know the ways of learning about love, find it fearful to be alone." Sarah thinks that "we tend to get "wrapped up" in our negative emotions such as fear, anger and jealousy which keeps us from truly being happy and loving ourselves for where we are at the present moment."

Samuel stated that we are "masters of self deception." "We are not open and honest with ourselves." Have you ever noticed people saying one thing and then doing another? Or they say they feel one way and then show the emotions of doing the opposite?

Sarah feels that people need to "trust each other more." "We need to let each other be" and "let them do what they want." Can we do this? Do we do this?

In closing, several people commented on how it is a gift to be able to really love the self and others of mankind. Many felt that we worked our way around the perimeter of knowing the concept of love.

Samuel reminded us that Cafe-Salon Philosophique is a place to come and wonder in "public privacy." We are not here for answers or conclusions. The answers are in the questions. We need to remember that we are all mirrors in this life and "what you put out is what you get back." Again, the "Reciprocal Effect." We are here to learn from others and share in listening so that maybe we can apply what we have learned to our own lives. Words can lie. We need to move beyond words.

We need to learn to be a little more selfish for our "selves" in order to learn about love for the self and others. Someone stated, "Live love and take action with it."

Brad ended the conversation by stating that he "enjoys coming to Cafe because he learns something new every time and finds the information useful in applying to his own life."

We all need to laugh at our own stupidity of not knowing how to love others as human beings.

The next meeting for Cafe-Salon Philosophique will be August 22, 1998 at Barnes & Noble , 2915 Pearl St, Boulder, CO, 7:30 p.m. The evening's topic will be continuing discussion on "Envisioning the Future - Relating to the Four Great Powers; Food, Money, Sex and Love."

Reported by Alessandra